I hope everyone has been enjoying the rain. It’s been a while since we’ve had some, and honestly, it brings back memories. Growing up on the East Coast, I miss real seasons the kind that change the whole world around you. Here, some years it’s still in the 70s in December, and when you’ve lived through snowy Christmases, nothing ever quite feels the same without that quiet blanket of white.
Even with that longing, I’m truly blessed and thankful for every day that I’m here. Lately I’ve been grieving the version of my life that existed before this pain settled in two months of it now, sometimes dim, sometimes sharp, but always there. Yesterday I slept most of the day just because I tried to eat a little more than usual. I keep fighting, though. I push myself because I want my strength back, I want to work out again, and on good days I still do my squats.
Truthfully, I’m a terrible “resting patient.” I’m not built to just sit still and do nothing that’s not who I am. I’ve been applying for every work-from-home job I can find because realistically, it wouldn’t be wise for me to work outside the house right now. The minute I push myself too far, I’m knocked down for days. And this… right here… is really the only place online where I share the truth of my pain and struggle with chronic illness. I know others have it worse, and I also know that God has me. There’s a purpose in all of this, even if I don’t fully understand it yet. One day I will.
I feel like God wants me close to Him right now deep in His Word and I love that. I can’t describe the amount of love He has for us. Yesterday I had the most beautiful phone call with one of the women from my church. She always sends me things that speak right to my spirit, and she shared an article about God’s love, the Ten Commandments, and what it truly means when they are ignored especially as we move closer to end times. It was powerful, eye-opening, exactly what I needed.
I sat there thinking… if someone had shown me something like that before 2016, I might have been in my Bible much earlier. I grew up Catholic, but it’s not the same. Now I’m simply God’s daughter loved, forgiven, protected and I love Him with everything in me. I will share His hope, His love, and His salvation for the rest of my life. I will always be that person who prays over everyone, even those who don’t like me. I hold no hate in my heart. Everything and everyone is forgiven. Whatever I can’t carry, I hand straight to Him and say, “Please take this,” and He does in His perfect timing.
I hope everyone has an amazing Thursday. I’m feeling okay not great, but not sick unlike my daughter, who is really struggling with what might be laryngitis, and my granddaughter, who has a heavy, productive cough. I’m staying tucked away to avoid catching it if possible.
But even in all this, I’m praying over them, and I’m praying over you.
May your day be blessed, peaceful, and full of little reminders that God is with you.
And maybe today, someone reading this will say,
“I need God in my life.”
If that’s you He’s already waiting.